So, it’s now been some 3 and a bit weeks of living, working, breathing Israel. I think it is fair to say at this point that I’m adapting and setting my expectations a little more realistically for the situation. Unquestionably there is a huge cultural difference between the West and a borderline Middle Eastern state. Whilst, it is very much adopting the ways of the West sometimes it is inescapable to remember where exactly in the world you are.
I for some years now have been a large fan of the German mentality towards – well simply everything. I like that you can walk around a German city and there isn’t any litter because it isn’t German. There is a rule that says that you do not litter and thus no German seems to. Equally, when crossing the road, it must be done so at a designated crossing and only upon the green light. It does not matter if it’s 3 AM and there isn’t a moving car for 20 km, the rules are clear, you do not cross on a red light.
By contrast then the Israeli philosophy is that of a constant, “that’ll do” mentality. I’m frequently reminded that they’ve had to build a country in 60 years, which means they’ve forfeited certain things – like their own culture for example or architecture that resembles something other than prison grade square concrete slabs. As I think I’ve explained here previously, it also has knock on effects in that customer service is entirely unheard of. Waitresses act like you’re causing a major inconvenience, banks seem confused that you might want access to your money, taxi drivers ask if they can pick up their nephew on the way (almost certainly a scam by the way), utilities companies are expected to require 3 phone calls and an hour on hold to do anything.
This general lack of effort or caring also seems to have fallout in other aspects of society. Take for an example, that the Israeli propensity for shortcuts in language now mean that there are several words and phrases in common usage that no one actually knows what they mean. This makes learning the language very difficult. Not only is it based upon an ancient language, which fundamentally are difficult because they just do not start from sensible places. They grew out of necessity. Unlike Chinese or Arabic however, Hebrew has been really poorly maintained, with not being spoken outside of prayers with millennia. Now that it is being used again, the Israelis are so lazy with it, it means that the colloquial language is full of one off rules just because. One of the teacher’s favourite phrases is “in Ancient Hebrew it should probably be pronounced something like xxxx, like the Arabic”.
It comes to something when the linguists are telling you that their native language is probably a horrible bastardisation of ancient scripture, when nearby languages still use the sounds and words correctly.
The spoken word being organic in nature, will always evolve as people’s requirement of language change with time. It is unreasonable to expect language to remain constant and with examples such as Shakespeare, Austin and Dickens we know it to change ourselves.
Alas, the spoken word is comparatively simple when compared to the written word. The Hebrew alphabet has no vowels, they’re just omitted, so for example “bank” would appear signed as “bnk”. A left over relic from ancient Hebrew but one in which confusion arises quickly. Imagine a world where public transport is labelled as “trn sttn” or “Lndn ndrgrnd”. Worse still, imagine trying to organise a trip to Ohio, Ottawa, Iowa, Eire or any other vowel heavy place name.
Now for giggles, let’s add letters that change their sound completely depending upon whether they appear at the start or end of a word. Oh and also, 3 letters (each with 2 sounds) are all represented with a vertical line, ie. | , just of slightly varying lengths.
Anyway, enough of such things. What you really want to see is me zipping along the streets of the Old City of Jerusalem on a Segway. Thought it was. Here you are then:
That pretty quick one is going down towards the Jewish quarter and the old Roman road through Jerusalem. And this one is coming back up through the Armenian quarter (I think):
Basically, the story goes like this. The Institute every year gives each research group a plot of cash each year which can only be spent on “team-building”. There’s obviously quite a lot of foreign nationals in our lab group. Segways are awesome. Why not do a Segway sightseeing tour of Jerusalem (or Yeer-oos-a-lime in Hebrew)?
Some photos will appear online, once I’ve edited them a bit and have some bandwidth – internet here tonight is a massive 8 KB/sec, it’s worse than dial up. Of course, being a tourist company, they gave us the most protective clothing in the world for a machine that is almost impossible to fall off. This in turn makes you look like the biggest possible tourists in the world but still. Segways are awesome!
Post Segways, lunch was almost entirely on the Institute too, with a buffet and 2 beers costing me the sum total of £1.40.
The day in general was one in which it made me think a lot. Traffic in Jerusalem was obvious chaos. Terrifying chaos. But Jerusalem itself I found to be pretty disappointing. Considering that the city is over 3000 years old and the Old City has been around since at least the 1300s it just didn’t feel old or special. A funny feeling to place, but essentially a British castle looks like it has fought with the elements and looks its age. In Jerusalem, everything is made (by law) of Jerusalem stone – a very white stone. The roads are too small for traffic and they have maybe 5 days of rain a year with the rest of the time the sun bakes the stone to a polish. The result is that this Ottoman Empire wall ends up looking like a French Renaissance reimagining than an original because it’s just too clean. Although apparently, this is only as a result of the British and their insistence on preserving old things the world over, otherwise it would have been built all over.
My other major thinking point of the day was during the drive. Tel Aviv and Jerusalem are, on a good day less than 40 minutes apart. In that distance almost all of it is arid desert until the mountains surrounding Jerusalem. Without extensive irrigation, the land has no significant value at all. Why then, has this terrible, inhospitable stretch of desert caused the loss of thousands, if not millions of lives? Over what? What essentially boils down to a story book? I know that is a dramatic over-simplification of millennia of history, but it’s one that is hard to shake. Imagine two thousand years from now, that the UK lies in ruin over a civil war, a true North/South divide, millions killed because both sides lay claim to King’s Cross Platform nine and three quarters. What if Scottish independence occurred and war was declared on the grounds that Connery made a better Bond than Moore and Craig combined?
I don’t know. In some ways it’s good to see a different culture. It makes you realise just how trivial all the things that are complained about on a day-to-day really are. Who really cares if an Australian comes over and works in the NHS? Who cares if some Polish guys want to pick vegetables in a field? On the other hand, experiencing a whole new culture just makes you think that the whole blooming world is messed up.
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