If you’ll allow me the luxury of another cathartic rambling, I’ve been surprised today by the response of so many of you getting in touch by one means or another.
I think it has helped that last night gave a solid 11 hours of sleep that probably helped immeasurably. As this morning upon actually awakening I didn’t stare at the ceiling and wonder to myself as to why the hell I was here. Maybe that’s just a latter stage of grief, acceptance.
Maybe it was the thought of the baguette shaped and sized cinnamon danish pastry I knew I’d saved for this moment. I even splashed out and had bought the most expensive (instant) coffee in the shop to try out. Today was going to be a good morning. Made better when turning on the TV, it awoke displaying the Hobbit about 20 minutes in. Hopes were quickly dashed when I saw the state of the kettle. C’est la vie. Still with expert use of microwave I had both warm pastry and coffee.
The power cut as the Hobbit was getting good was most unappreciated. I took that as a sign to get off my keister and actually do some thesis corrections, even if that meant it had to be done on the laptop and required a walk to work for use of electricity. But then, as I picked up my keys to leave the AC decided to have the acoustic equivalent of an epileptic fit signifying the return of civilization. So obviously, I watched the end of the Hobbit before going to procrastinate with facebook and emails.
I was genuinely surprised by the number of people that had got in touch. I don’t know if that is significant to just how unproductive the whole world was feeling on Friday morning. But I had several lovely messages, from lovely people. And in my battered emotional state, most had me choking up. I suppose we always sort of know at the back of our mind’s that people are there for us, after all we surround ourselves with people. I also know that, I perhaps know more than most and that I try desperately hard to keep as many as close as is possible. Perhaps that’s one of my reasons for so frankly speaking here, though I’m always shocked when someone acknowledges that my humble ramblings are worth their time to read.
A man, wiser than myself, a man I respect with my whole being sent me a message, proposing an alternative way of thinking. One in which where despite everything in our lives we ultimately concentrate on three things; relationships, friendships and work. Within this “holy trinity”, your typical person and deal with an upheaval in one of these three things and typically by throwing ourselves at the remaining two. How often have we all seen after a disastrous end to a relationship someone throw themselves at friends (typically with immediate alcohol) and throw themselves at work for the remaining time? Two of the trinity starts to strain things. Whilst what I’ve in the last month is disturb all three. No wonder then, times are tough when the normal coping mechanisms are diminished.
This then has been a day of throwing myself at work. Whilst the hours are long, the work is tough, and the motivation is low. There are diamonds shining in the rough. Every hour spent on these corrections is an hour closer to me officially holding me PhD certificate. That and even in this dive of an apartment with the windows wide open, glorious sunshine, 30 degrees with a gentle sea breeze makes me think that this is exactly what British autumns are missing. All that is missing is an easy chair out on a veranda, a bottle of red with some quality company.
This post was written to The Parlor Mob, give ‘em a listen…
