2010: The Year in Review

You join me today from on-board a train. In one of the few ways that these days still surprise me, both as a technology fan and as a man that finds himself ever increasingly disappointed by the British mentality of “that’ll do”.

The country currently seems to be run with a “that’ll do” mentality. Rather than creating a long term solution or at least a slightly future proofed system, the country as a whole seems to be settling for a half arsed solution now, and may again in 6 months when it all goes wrong and breaks.

But enough of that. I find myself pleasantly surprised. For I sit upon a train heading from London to Manchester, knowing that I shall be sat on the train for less than 2 hours (which is quite a feat in itself). Not only that but I have a table to myself, a plug for my laptop and free wifi upon which I blog to you now. It amazes me just how good trains can be as opposed to my usual experiences. And all of this for £25 because I booked in advance.

So I thought I’d use this time as the world rushes by outside to reflect upon the year that has passed me by at such a frightening pace. The year started, as all years started, at a party where no one really knows any of the other guests with a certain amount social awkwardness; even for the small Scottish village in which I was celebrating the new year.

And whilst another year had gone I cant say that I was celebrating entry into a new year. One in which didn’t hold many prospects for being any better than the previous. I was still in Norwich and fraudulently muddling through the first year of my PhD feeling little other than stupid. I had committed myself to 3 years or more in a field that few could comprehend and even fewer understand. My supervisor seemed to pay the group little attention, whether this was actually the case or simply my misunderstanding is still unknown to me now. In either respect it certainly help by feelings of stupidity in the face of learning quantum physics and the intricacies of spectroscopy from a text book.

Outside of academia, my personal life didn’t stand much better. I still knew few people in Norwich, my partner was in a different city and a significant train journey away and I was living with someone high school. And no disrespect to Jason, living with him was an absolute pleasure, living with Jason was a comfort blanket that made it for too easy to not go out and socialise.

So as the year went on, Jason and myself were joined by a further high school friend. A friend that had a very different approach to life, an approach that required a certain amount of adjustment to the homely routine that Jason and I had become accustomed to. We waved goodbye to Mr Marriott as he departed on his trip around the world. Only for us to blink and suddenly 6 months had gone by and we were welcoming him back. And with his return he wanted to join us in Norwich which required a moving of house. A house move that was nothing short of tortuous as we moved from a flat on the effective 3rd and 4th floor to a 4 storey town house.

Academically things improved through the year. I effectively wrote myself a text book to my field using horrible text books, research papers and anything else I could beg/borrow/steal. Upon completion of this text book I concluded that I would never know any more about the field than I had in the document and that knowing the theory could in no way at this point help with my experimental any further. So I through myself into the research with gusto hoping that this would help with the uncomfortableness that I still had at UEA.

The research helped make me somewhat more useful, but as is the way with research, nothing is as simple as it should be. And I’ve spent 6 months optimising the parameters so that I can actually run an experiment at all rather than actually just running experiments. The moral of that story is always be very careful with that you dissolve stuff in.

But, the best thing that happened to me all year as far as the research has been concerned is getting a project student. After the initial fear of being responsible for 40% of a young girl’s marks for her final year Alicia has turned out to be nothing short of a god-send in the lab. Not only allowing me to double the amount of experimental work I can get through in a week but also allowing me to improve my relationship with my supervisor.

As far as travel is concerned I’ve had quite an eventful year. I’ve managed to get myself to Bilbao, Spain for a festival, Oostende, Belgium for a holiday and Konstanz, Germany for a 10 day intensive work conference (intensive from both the 12 hours worth of lectures and the 6 hours drinking a day). So, by way of a list here’s everything I’ve learnt this year:

  • A car crash, no matter how superficial is a write off
  • Scientists everywhere whilst working hard are largely alcoholics
  • A 250 mile drive to visit relatives is perfectly acceptable, and easily achieved under 4 hours
  • The return 250 miles, along the same roads, will always take >50% longer again
  • People are always much more approachable, if you approach them with something nothing to do with yourself, and then ask “oh by the way…”
  • The world is a VERY small place
  • If someone is keeping secrets from you, you will find out about them
  • Women that always wanted the big wedding as soon as they’ve been to a few decide they really dont
  • Even the most child loathing women have a biological clock
  • The stockmarket isn’t actually that scary a place
  • Anyone associated with the finance department will be useless
  • Women whilst they can be a useful distraction can be exactly that
  • Jumping through hoops is the only way to keep a bureaucrat happy

And finally,

  • Never underestimate, the power and intelligence of family. They will always know you better than yourself. Because let’s face it, they can be objective about it.
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Snow blindness

What distinguishes you from other developers?

I've built data pipelines across 3 continents at petabyte scales, for over 15 years. But the data doesn't matter if we don't solve the human problems first - an AI solution that nobody uses is worthless.

Are the robots going to kill us all?

Not any time soon. At least not in the way that you've got imagined thanks to the Terminator movies. Sure somebody with a DARPA grant is always going to strap a knife/gun/flamethrower on the side of a robot - but just like in Dr.Who - right now, that robot will struggle to even get out of the room, let alone up some stairs.

But AI is going to steal my job, right?

A year ago, the whole world was convinced that AI was going to steal their job. Now, the reality is that most people are thinking 'I wish this POC at work would go a bit faster to scan these PDFs'.

When am I going to get my self-driving car?

Humans are complicated. If we invented driving today - there's NO WAY IN HELL we'd let humans do it. They get distracted. They text their friends. They drink. They make mistakes. But the reality is, all of our streets, cities (and even legal systems) have been built around these limitations. It would be surprisingly easy to build self-driving cars if there were no humans on the road. But today no one wants to take liability. If a self-driving company kills someone, who's responsible? The manufacturer? The insurance company? The software developer?