Nerds, nerds, everywhere

So it’s been a busy old week in the world that is Morgan.  I’ve suddenly been thrown into a world where work seems to be not even remotely close to the number of hours I have in the day.  Well, I say that, but in reality I’m still far better off than I have been for the last 2 years.  It’s just that for 3 of the thus far 4 days I’ve been getting home at gone 6 after getting to work at 8.  Which just seems a bit of a jip after the last couple of weeks when I’ve been doing my standard 8 til 4 which my body was just really starting to like.  C’est la vie.  When me must and all that.

Anyway that’s not the purpose of todays rant.  During this week I’ve spent a lot of time on various training courses and met a lot of new people which normally would be great.  This was all in the name of “personal and professional development”, which is basically a government initiative that says that postgrad researchers are coming out of university with brilliant minds in their field (read scientific minds) but lack daily interchangeable skills that make them an asset to employers.  Now this isn’t something that I believed until this week.

This week I’ve done courses that introduce statistics, Linux, open-source software and how to use big scary magnets.  Well I say that but really I’ve used bigger magnets and have done a lot more than just press a few buttons.

Anyway.  I know that I’m not the coolest person in the world and don’t pretend to be, never have.  But bloody hell.  This week I’ve met several people that just personify the word nerd, in the fact the definition should perhaps be modified in light of these new subjects.  Compared to these people I looked like the Fonz.  My god I even saw a pocket protecter for the first time in real life. My only thought was “Really?”

I try not to be a harsh person in normal life but when I feel like bullying people it just makes me thing that a) they must have had a really sh*t life and b) they must really be asking for it.

Trousers go below the belly button.  And if you’re really going to wear them at such heights do you really need to tuck the shirt into them along with wearing the tightest belt in the world?

I appreciate that academia is an escape from the real world for a lot of people but really reality needs to slap these people about the face with a trout.


This page previously appeared on morganbye.net[^1][^2]

[^1:] http://morganbye.net/2009/11/nerds-nerds-everywhere) [^2:] http://morganbye.net/blog/?p=93

What distinguishes you from other developers?

I've built data pipelines across 3 continents at petabyte scales, for over 15 years. But the data doesn't matter if we don't solve the human problems first - an AI solution that nobody uses is worthless.

Are the robots going to kill us all?

Not any time soon. At least not in the way that you've got imagined thanks to the Terminator movies. Sure somebody with a DARPA grant is always going to strap a knife/gun/flamethrower on the side of a robot - but just like in Dr.Who - right now, that robot will struggle to even get out of the room, let alone up some stairs.

But AI is going to steal my job, right?

A year ago, the whole world was convinced that AI was going to steal their job. Now, the reality is that most people are thinking 'I wish this POC at work would go a bit faster to scan these PDFs'.

When am I going to get my self-driving car?

Humans are complicated. If we invented driving today - there's NO WAY IN HELL we'd let humans do it. They get distracted. They text their friends. They drink. They make mistakes. But the reality is, all of our streets, cities (and even legal systems) have been built around these limitations. It would be surprisingly easy to build self-driving cars if there were no humans on the road. But today no one wants to take liability. If a self-driving company kills someone, who's responsible? The manufacturer? The insurance company? The software developer?